“Because I Said So” Monologue

Really? I’ll tell you one thing though. You did not have me the moment that we met because I’m not even sure I like the fact that your staff talked about you behind your back at the dessert table. And excuse me but truth be told I didn’t like anything that you ordered for me on our first date except the calamari. And okay fine, yes, it was nice to not have to think for a change. But who wants someone that doesn’t think? Look. And sometimes you laugh when I cry, and you say “huh” when I make perfect sense. And never ever in my life have I burnt a chocolate soufflé until now, and that in and of itself. Oh my God. Should have told me I don’t feel like myself around you. And I would have decided that. A long time ago if it weren’t for my mother. Because who wants someone who laughs like a hyena in a polka dot dress that my mother made me buy.

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