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Flashback of January 1st, 2013

On her way home, Lily thinks about 01/01/2013 and she remembers waking up from a bad dream about Imo. At that time she couldn’t believe she had such awful dream on the first day of new year. It made her upset but she thought, “Good thing i am never going to talk to him again so if it’s true I won’t have to deal with it.”

She thought she would never talk to him again but who knew that after 2 months and half she would write to him and confess her feelings again and who knew they would start going out again and then things will end really badly between them and they be where they are now.

She knows she shouldn’t talk about the the past nor think about it. it happened however it was meant to happen. and wherever she is now is where she is suppose to be.

Only Allah knows who will come in her life and who will leave and what will happen of that. she just prays that He only gives her whatever is best for her in this world and in hereafter.

She thinks, “its a new chapter of my life. i always want to have Allah in my heart with every decision I make in my life from now on,” and goes on with her train ride to home. Image

Between Them

Sometimes she still can’t help but blame herself
For how things turned out between them
She still hates herself for writing those things to him
For trying to act like she is all above him
And for trying to make him feel low

She just pray that Allah forgives her
That is not the kind of person she wants to be
Maybe they weren’t truly meant to be
It would have ended some way eventually
But she guesses she is the reason for it
Because Allah wants her to be better
Than who she has been

He had hurt her like nobody ever done before
Remembering it makes her sad about it all
She wonders if he will reflect on his actions
If he will ever feel bad for how he threw her away
Maybe he will, maybe he won’t
Only Allah knows what’s in his heart

She just wants to be forgiven
Never wants to repeat
Those kinds of words on anyone else
She just wants to look back and smile
Without having to feel sad
For how it turned out between them

(12/31/13… 4:39 PM)

Between Them …